In The Face Of Fear
by Nicluv1787
Summary: The Demons of Kohaku's past haunt him, In order to over come them he must face them head on. Winner First Place week 206 Iyfic contest.


Title: In the Face of Fear

Author: Nicluv1787

Prompt: hesitation

Word Count: 1712

Warning: dark fic, violence and mild gore.

Summary: Kohaku takes steps to learn to battle his inner demons.

A/N: This is set post canon, sometime while Kagome is trapped in the current era. This is also my first attempt at something dark, and more violent, also my first real attempt at action, so I hope I did alright. I did get a little carried away, I had no idea it would be this long. . I'd also like to thank my Beta P-tama for correcting the mistakes I make when I write at 1 am.

A piercing scream; the steady beating of his heart in his ears; the soft, yet firm, voice chanting 'kill, kill'; his face is splattered with the blood of the innocent and the screams continue to get closer. The world seems covered in a haze of red. Kohaku shuts his eyes, tightly, willing the images to disappear. His breathing is ragged as he gasps for air doubled over, leaning on his knees for support. Gripping his flesh so tight he tears into the skin.

Slowly the red haze fades and the screaming subsides, and Kohaku crumples to the floor, his hot tears streaming down his face.

It's been nearly a year since the defeat of Naraku, and Kohaku's memories have all returned. Visions of the horrible deeds he performed while under Naraku's control haunt him. Tormented images have played over and over again in his dreams for the past year.

That was until recently, a couple weeks ago while he was practicing with his chain scythe when he had a horrible vision of a mother and daughter that he himself had killed in cold blood. Each swing of his chain scythe brought the image closer and more vivid until he was crumpled over in the fetal position clinging to sanity. Before that day he had been safe from his nightmares in his waking hours. Not anymore, now every time he swung his scythe the nightmarish images replayed for him, becoming more real with each swing.

Kohaku wipes away the tears before rising on unsteady feet. Shaking off the lingering remainders of his nightmares, he squares his jaw and looks around for his chain scythe. It lays casually at his feet, seemingly innocent, belying the blood it has spilled in his care. He hovers over the weapon before grasping it fully, bringing it to his side replacing it in his holster.

His own hesitance to pick up his weapon disgusts him. He is ashamed by his own cowardice. When he remembers the words of his father it only drives in his own self loathing.

"_Never hesitate in the face of fear, lest you succumb to your fear and be swallowed by it."_

To give in to the visions and put down his scythe would be giving into his own fear. To do that would be disrespectful to his father and his sister who had given up so much for him to live. So he will continue to fight through the screams of terror, fight his personal demons that surround and cloud his mind.

Kohaku unclenches his fist, unaware he'd dug his nails into his skin making his hand slick with his own blood. He examines the wound as it runs in rivulets down his palm, dripping onto the ground. He can hear the screams in the back of his mind but pushes them back, leaning down he wipes his hand on the grass, smearing the crimson liquid on the ground.

Kohaku hears the sound of someone running rapidly in his direction. He spins around in the direction of the approaching runner to see Rin sprinting up the path. Her brown hair bouncing as she heads in his direction, her normally bright smile is down turned, which concerns him.

"Kohaku," Rin shouts as she approaches.

"Rin," he hails her.

The breathless girl reaches him, clutching her sides as she steadies her breathing. "There's a Youkai attacking the village," She says between gasping breaths. "The others are fighting it right now."

Without hesitation, Kohaku rushes off in the direction Rin had come from. Something inside him told him he needs to be there, he sprints at full speed, nearly gasping for air by the time he reaches the edge of the village, where the sounds of battle have been carried on the wind. He doesn't pause as he bolts into the clearing where the battle ensues. Turning the corner he gets the first glimpse of the Youkai before stopping dead in his tracks.

A spider Youkai larger than a castle looms above Inuyasha. Its massive pincers thrust with impressive speed nearly cutting the Hanyou in half before he skirts away.

Kohaku tries to move but finds his body frozen in place. This spider Youkai could be the twin of the one he fought nearly two years ago the night his father and comrades died. _'The night I killed them all.'_

The red haze descends over him once again and everything surrounding him falls silent. The battle rages on around him, only it has changed, Inuyasha and Miroku change into his comrades, while his sister battles the Youkai with her Hiraikotsu. Kohaku can see his father lunge forward spear in hand piercing the chest of the spider; which roars with anger in response.

Kohaku feels his hand on the cold steel of his chain scythe as he twirls it above his head, out of his control. His voice echoes inside his head screaming for him to stop as he walks purposefully toward his father. He strains and pulls mentally but his body will not listen. As he approaches his father he looks over his shoulder at him and smiles. Kohaku looses the chain scythe and watches helpless as it cascades through the air slicing his father's head of cleanly before landing on the ground soundlessly. Kohaku screams but nothing comes out as the body of his father transforms into Miroku.

Another comrade standing a few feet away swings a large sword at the spider. He slices into one of the spiders many legs. The creature loses balance as Kohaku stalks toward his comrade. Kohaku's tears stream down his face freely but he cannot stop his body as it moves on its own accord towards his comrade. The comrade raises his sword for another swing and Kohaku throws the chain scythe embedding it into his comrade's back, he falls to his knees looking over his shoulder at Kohaku in disbelief before falling to the ground face forward, as the blood pools around him he fades into Inuyasha.

Turning on his heel, Kohaku notices Sango as she hefts the Hiraikotsu on her shoulder while jumping back from a flaying limb of the spider. Kohaku uses every ounce of his self control to keep from moving. Sango notices him standing off, unaware of her fallen friends, she rushes to his side. Shouting something Kohaku cannot hear. He tries to tell her to keep away but the words will not pass his lips.

Sango reaches him, grabbing him by the shoulders shaking him violently. He can feel the red haze lift, as her words permeate into his conscious.

"Kohaku, what are you doing?" She asks desperately. Kohaku blinks back the last of the red haze as the sounds of battle crash upon his ears. "Why are you just standing there?" Sango continues. Over her shoulder Kohaku catches sight of Inuyasha as he takes a swing at the spider, which misses by a millimeter.

"They're alive?" Kohaku says his voice thick.

"Kohaku what are you talking about?" Sango says her voice heavy with concern.

Kohaku shakes of her grip on his shoulders, "Please nee-san, don't stop me." He runs past her, to join the fray. _'I've been given a second chance to right the wrongs of my past.'_

Inuyasha swings at the spider with the wind scar, scoring the tough spiders hide with the cutting wind. The spider merely hisses turning on Inuyasha. Kohaku notices the momentary distraction in the spider's focus and seizes this moment to attack. He removes the chain scythe from its holster, swinging it above his head, the dim sound of screams echo in the back of his mind. Pushing them back he releases the scythe along the spider's fleshy back side.

Enraged the spider turns his gleaming red eyes on Kohaku, as Kohaku skirts back away from the monster to get a better angle. Inuyasha notices him, and when he motions to intervene Sango stops him with a hand on his shoulder, reluctantly the Hanyou sheaths his sword.

The spiders full attention is now on Kohaku, his manacles are dripping with poison as he clicks them in Kohaku's direction. Kohaku swings the scythe over his head once more, standing defensively against the monster. The screams have reached a dull roar, their distinct voices still undistinguishable. If he does not finish this in the next couple of blows they will overcome him.

The spider lunges at Kohaku, he dodges it nearly being grazed by one of the poisonous talons. Now to the left of the spider Kohaku throws the scythe sinking into the soft flesh of the spiders exposed neck. It screeches in pain, as the scythe digs a deep gouge nearly grazing vital organs. Severely agitated, the heavily wounded spider, once more lunges at Kohaku. He dodges it with a roll, as the spider stumbles to face him once more. The weight of the scythe begins to bear down on Kohaku and the screams are becoming more persistent, nearly blocking out all other sound.

Scraping together his last scraps of will power, Kohaku prepares himself for a final attack. He runs at full speed towards the head of the monstrous spider, feigning to the right he distracts the injured Youkai just enough to back flip onto its abdomen. The spider bucks and kicks in an attempt to dislodge Kohaku, holding on with his knees to the spiders rough back Kohaku hold's the scythe in both hands high above his head. The piercing screams cloud his vision and the red haze is over whelming. With an amazing will of effort Kohaku brings the blade of his scythe down into the spider's neck with a spectacular spray of blood, showering the surrounding plants and him in a crimson rain. The monster lets out a final guttural cry of pain before collapsing to ground.

Through the blur of the red haze Kohaku see's the others rushing to him, his sister in the lead. She helps him off the spider carcass propping him up she wraps his arm around her shoulder. Kohaku can feel the world around him getting blurry, and his mind loosing focus.

"Kohaku what were you thinking you could have been killed," Sango says in a scolding tone.

"I had to defeat my fear," he mutters before losing consciousness.


End file.
